In 2011, my husband Ron survived sudden cardiac arrest. He was revived after 25 minutes of CPR. Although he survived he was left with an Anoxic Brain Injury. He was hospitalized for 40 days and nights, and I, along with my sister. spent almost every waking and sleeping moment at his bedside. We fought for him, we cared for him, and we loved him through it all. Throughout these days and nights his behavior was bizarre and he was unrecognizable as the man we knew. About 2.5 weeks into this ordeal I was faced with the paliative care team at the hospital. As his wife, I had been making all the medical decisions for him since the night this all began. Now they were asking me to make decisions for his future care.. And it was frightening. We’d never had this conversation. So all I could do was go with my instincts, to say that I did not think my husband would want to have CPR again, if the outcome could possibly be worse. It made me feel sick to my stomach to think that for such an important decision on life or death, that I was “guessing what my husband would want.” Around the 37th day, we were at the point of discharge from the hospital. But Ron needed rehabilitation. Unfortunately, his condition made him a high risk for any facility close to home to handle. I could not bear the thought of shipping him off to one more setting that I could not control, and I could not in good conscience leave him alone for any period of time. So, with the help of my sister and the support of family and friends, I brought him home. I know that secretly, many people thought I was crazy. Secretly, I thought I was crazy. And then the most amazing thing happened. in familiar surroundings, he improved. Carefully we took away the medicines that were interfering with his balance, and his thought processes. After several days, I didn’t have to follow him around the house, worried about falls. So, today, our story has a happy ending. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, but we never really have known that. We have since talked briefly about his wishes regarding CPR. But now, you have given me a tool to talk with him in more detail, so I can truly know his full wishes. Thank you for sharing your story, and now I will try to share your message.
-cindy, 4/11/2012
